is it....

really necessary to rub it in my face that you don't need me like you said you did? You have blocked me on everything an lied to my face about it. You are still telling lies to me, an everyone else. Why... it isnt necessary....I dont give a crap what you are doing anymore. Remember..honesty. Crap man. Have fun....I guess.

yay!

I cant put my 11's back on WOOT!

Coming around....

acceptance is a wonderful thing. It makes you heal. An I understand now, I trust to much to other people. To get my heart you need to earn it. My girls are the most important thing to me. The next man that comes in my life will understand that they are here. They don't go away...an if they can't understand that fact...they can keep going. An NOT look back. I am not gonna do this again. It is now about me an them. If anyone wants to come along, they better hang on for the ride.

again....

here I go the healing process begins once more. As I pack the house up an throw away the small life he an I shared. He doesn't want any reminders, an I don't think I can deal with them. I had trouble driving by where we were married at last night. An as it all falls back to were it goes.....I may still my heart away quickly an with great vigor. But, my hand is another matter entirely.

ok...

the car is now spotless on the inside. Hoping to get more sorting done today. Maybe go to the good will tomorrow. Been unable to do laundry, cause the girl I sold the washer an dryer to doesn't get up until like 10 AM. An I don't like doing laundry all night long thank you... Must also go through the craft closet....decide which projects are worth it....an which are gonna get scrapped. An then give away all my extra yarn to my friend....sigh.

Oh mi Goodness!

375 books to library...6 trash bags FULL of clothes to the goodwill.... 3 rugs gone....4 shelves....a desk, an 2 dressers...the little tv upstairs....an his crap is everywhere...I am just kinda stacking it, don't know what else to do... Oh yeah an two huge trash cans full an I need more room! Thank goodness that trash day is tomorrow!

all this stuff all over again ...

I have to sort crap out all over again. An it looks like I am gonna have to be a bitch for my kids sake. I can't stand this. I apparently didn't know him at all. He went an bought a brand new truck with money no one had! WTF! I am having small issues right now. I have no clue what is going on anymore. An I don't think I want to know. I am at the point where if he wants to toss all of the life we were creating out the window that's fine. But an explanation , besides I just don't wanna be married anymore would be frigging nice. Oh an he needs to come an sort out his stuff....

lol

Gotta love stress! Down 28lbs in 3 days!!

well umm..yeah...

don't ask what happened cus I don't know...John is leaving me....

sigh

what do you want me to do? seriously...

Just knowing...

That I have friends...buried in yarn, an clothes....that are also sipping coffee right now helps alot.... miss you...

ugh........

just one of those days...owowow...