143...

Ugh!!?!??!?

159

I am so off right now.  I feel like I am snapping at every one.  It's not from lack of eating.  I have been a good girl.   Fighting some old demons.  Having to deal with getting healthy around friends who aren't.  And the fact that my body hates me.  So used to taking the easy way. 

I finally figured out what my doctors meant when they tell you that eating disorders don't really ever go away.  They just like to resurface later as a different monster.

164

Been hiking, running, dieting.. Lets hope...

169

Just feel crazy.  But, that's normal.  One of P's teenagers decided to be a shit an run off.  Hopefully they will find her ok.  She is 17 almost 18.  But, still.  She got caught doing something wrong, threw a fit an took off.  REALLY?!?!  *smack!*

  We have another who is "late",  but it could be a body fat content problem.  No I am not joking.  She could just be that damn skinny.  I have a damn eye twitch.  And of course Anna doesn't understand when Sh wants to be so skinny.  She keeps trying to shove food in her mouth.  But, I digress.

  Finally got J to start walking last night.  It is good for his knee.  He has lost 42lbs already.  So that took alot of the stress off of it.  He has been working non-stop.  He's been doing pretty good. 

  Nothing from the principal. Or the school board at all.  I think they are afraid to say anything.  Oh well.  Will be contacting them again Monday. 

   Seamus has taken to jumping all over the house like a heavy weight frog.  It's driving me nuts. 
 
Oh well off I go...

170

Ok I only need to loose 45lbs now.  Woowhoo!  Lmbo! Got our family travel folder together.  So passports will be easier to get; since I don't have to search  for everything now.  

   

Honey moon all saved up for, and planned.  Just gotta get the meals together I plan on making at the cabin.  And the ones for kids and sitter here.  I am so excited!!! Squee!!!

171

I have a honeymoon planned for our anniversary.  I hope John likes it...  it's in November.

172....cont

I am exhausted.  Need to loose about 50 lbs.  and save about 10,000.....  I can do it.   I can do it....

172

Aaaaaaaaa!!!!!

177

I am so tired.  I now officially don't like KY.  I was informed yesterday; through a teacher, by the principal that because of the way I look I can no longer help at the school. Or co-coach the cross country team anymore.  I refuse to change myself for one person, when this is the first time I have had any issues with my appearance.   I refuse to tell my children that letting other people decide how you are is ok.  Because, it is not, nor will it ever be.  

And I still have the flu...

178

It's a sucker-punch kinda day....

Feeling sick ... Flu

Disconnected, unappreciated, overworked, yadayada. Nothing new.  I need to get over it.  And just go forward. Just can't seem to pill myself up and out.  Feel awful, no ones fault but mine.

179

I am sick... Oh ugh

180... Cont...

Cleaning the house.   Still.  Found bite marks in Kadi's chair.  

Yes , bite marks.  I haven't been able to start pickling yet.  Still cleaning...  

Ugh...

Moose man is being an arse, but that is normal.  I need to shift more things around.  All the bills are paid up or gone. So soon the money should be there to use to start prep on the big plans.  

Stress,  ugh my stomach is tore up.....

Oh an I like Torchwood so far....

 

180

Vacuuming the house.

 

My room is clean, finally.  All spaghetti sauce done.  Will be pickling today.  

Hoping to get some more sorted.  But, I am sooo tired.

182

Okay.  8 more jars of sauce done.  More on the simmer.  About pickle peppers and squash.  Yeah.

Oh and there's poo all over Moose's room again.  J is on a weekend fishing trip.  And I think I am done ..... Just flipping done.....

183

So tired.  Just ground 10 lbs of meat.  And canned 12 quarts of spaghetti sauce .  Only got around two hours of sleep last night.  Still need to vacuum, and sort the living room.  

J is going on a fishing trip this weekend.  So I will be alone with all the stress for 3 solid dang days.  Yeah for me.  Anybody wanna help?

185

Okay, still sorting.  The poop monster is on the couch.  Kitchen floor done.  Inch and half on sock.  All bills paid for six months.  All food bought for six months.

Needs to save $10,000.  Think we can do it?  I do.  

188

Took a break from cleaning.... For one... Just one day.  It looks like the show hoarders threw up in my house.  I am so pissed.  No one.  Not one person picked up the slack.  Or did their own chores for that matter.  What happens if I decide to visit some one by myself?  What would happen?

But on another note had fun with girls. Took them shopping.  All day.

Moose is still a butt head.

190

Moose has become a poop monster.  And defiant  butt nugget.  I had to strip his room bare to make it easier to disinfect when he spreads his body waste on it. Ahhhh!  He is now officially a toddler.

Well paperwork for great and exciting things can get started later today to monday morning.  Yippie!

Kadi and Anna are at each others throats again.  So the next place has to be four bedrooms to start with.  Not for us to complete. 

191

My period started.  I feel like I am dying.  Ugh...  If anyone wants to see me I will be in the cup board...

192

Shrunk 4 large craft boxes down to 2 small.  All junk paper work boxes sorted. Desk drawers cleared.  About to clear desk top in to pink box so I can sit an sort.  

Need to empty and sort wardrobe.  Six bags of garbage went out yesterday.  Ugh... And I am not even close to done with the moving purge.  Good thing I have a while huh....