WK 33

Well the play room is under control... sort of. But the stuffed animals are taking over!!! I seem to be doing ok. Just now I am in the crush of getting everything ready for Anna to go to school. Hopeing to get her signed up for soccer. Because she actaully wants to play! Wow exercise! And trying to get Kadi registared for Daycare. SO I can use the measely 15 hours a month they allow free to wives of deployed soldiers. So at least I can have a little time to myself each month. Yeah.....

WK 34

Happy Fourth everyone!! Hope you had fun. The girls and I went to watch the fireworks in Barstow!!!

HELP!!!!!

Here's the new scarf I just finished. I think it is my favorite!

hmmm me too....

Wow the desert is kinda bright huh.

WK 35

There goes another week...... not fast enough. Missing Dave.

mundane...

stoopid internet connection.....

Verizon sucks. They don't have enough room on the hub. And they aren't fixing it!

.......

I am not a daddys girl...I swear!!! LoL

WK 36

Hello all. Another week gone by. I need to go to the dentist. Chances are I am going to need braces. ALL my teeth are shifting, but the front two around my gap. It is really starting to hurt. The girls are doing well. Growing bigger every day it seems. I finished my baby blankets for Grandma and the frg. I just need to mail them. It will get done. I hope. I have begun work on a scarf made from a nice shade called Aran Fleck, that my friend Dea gave me. It is turning out nicely. Was hoping to go home for a visit durign the hotter months. But, now I am gonna be lucky to be able to make to my best friends wedding! I am open to ANY and ALL suggestions about raising money here. Unforunatly I can not afford Daycare. I have been tring to get them enrolled for two months in the free program but it seems to be backed up. I am hoping to get them enrolled by next month then at least I can do 15 hours a month at the comissary or something. *sigh* I am willing to make butterflies, scarfs, and baby blankets for a small fee since I need to mail them. Lol. And Heidi I promise I didn't forget I need your mailing address again so that I can mail your box to you.:P Have fun all...
Just sitting here missing Dave.

Ever had...

Have you ever had that moment when you can't believe what's going on? Have you ever been going through your day completely unaware? I have just had a little reality smack me in the face. People, I don't care what you think of Bush. I just want my soldier back, and in one piece. Send positive energy, pray, do what ever it is YOU do. Help me get them all home safe and sound. Because ANYWHERE over there is dangerous if you have that little American flag on your shoulder. Please, don't forget them.

Why me?

I don't know how much more I can take. The girls are driving me crazy!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! Is it really nessacary to fight over ONE block when there are a million in the playroom?

WK 37

Another week gone. Hope the next one goes by quicker.

yeah....

Got this from Drew's I thought it was really neat.




I Pod Junk


The Way it works...
1. put your i pod on shuffle.
2. press forward with every question.
3. the song is the answer to this questions.





1. How am I feeling today?
Hardway- Scott Stapp
(yeah..that works)


2. Will I get far in life?
1000 Julys- Third Eye Blind
(Okay I don't now how to take that)


3. How do my friends see me?
Ooh- Jimmie's Chicken Shack
(LOL)


4. When will I get married?
Well I already did...
Love in An Elevator- Aerosmith
(Okay that one should make Dave happy, lol)


5. What is your best friends theme song?
Yellow- Coldplay
(glad you're feeling mellow)


6. What is the story of my life?
Learn the Hardway- Nickelback
(yeah sounds about right)


7. What was highschool like?
Feelin' Good- Pussy Cat Dolls
(uhh...I plead the fifth)


8. How am I going get ahead in life?
Three Mile Smile- Aerosmith
(I have no clue how that is gonna work)


9. What is the best thing about me?
Stupid Girls- Pink
(Okay... so I am tactless-shootme)


10. How is today gonna be?
Army Ants- Stone Temple Pilots
(yup sounds right. *ROLLS UP SLEEVES*)


11. What is instore for the weekend?
Here's your sign x-mas -Bill Engvall
(I dont wanna go to the mall)


12. What song describes your parents?
When I change your mind- Cherry Poppin Daddys
( sound good ...you go dad)


13. What song describes your grandparents?
Change- Good Charolette
(yup....)


14. How is my life going?
Dorkfish- Bill Engval
( I think my IPod is making fun of me)


15. What song will be played at my funeral?
She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5
(that sounds nice actaully)


16. How does the world see me?
Freak Out- Avril Lavigne
(I believe it)


17. Will I have a happy life?
Parry Mason - Ozzy Osbourne
( I dont know how to take that one)


18. What do my friends think of me?
All American Girl- Melissa Etheridge
(cool)


19. Do people secretly lust after me?
Beautiful- Christina Aguilera
(okay..who?)


20. How can I make myself happy?
My World- Avril Lavigne
(alright....I know I need to take it all back....and I will sooner or later.)


21. What should I do with my life?
Dateless Losers- Reel Big Fish
( alright now I know it's making fun of me)


22. Will I ever Have children?
TOO LATE!!!
Blood on the Ground- Incubus
(LOL)


23. What is some good advice for me?
Move Along- The All American Rejects
(Okay, now I think it may be yelling at me)


24. What is my signature song?
Waiting- Jimmies Chicken Shack
(Yeah. I always seem to be waiting on someone.)


25. What do I think my current theme song is?
My Vietnam- Pink
( that is f'd up. But yeah.)


26. What do everyone else think my theme song is?
Blindman- Aerosmith
(cool)


27. What type of man/woman do you want?
Will You Still Love Me- Melissa Etheridge
(yup)


28. What kinda kisser are you?
That Kind of Love- Alison Krauss
(gentle, sweet, and a little sad. do I?)


29. What's your style?
Revolving Door- Crazy Town
(OH MY GODS! ROFL..... my sides hurt!)


30. What kind of lover are you?
What if the guy from smashing pumpkins lost his car keys- Steven Lynch
(ummm funny....?)


31. What would be playing on a 1st date?
Trouble- Pink
(LOL. SOunds right.)


32. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Catalyst- Anna Nalick
(so I am still depressed that sucks..)

YOUR TURN!!!

Just Dragging On

I got a visit from a good friend yesterday that I haven't seen in a long time. Heidi, Joe Purcell says hi. Lol. He brought his wife Elana and his kids. We had fun. They left this morning. I still feel kinda drained. I hate it when I can't seem to be completely happy about something. I am having trouble being happy about anything. I feel it but, not completely. I find things funny, but I can't just feel totally happy. Well, I guess that just comes as part of the territory.

Missing My Dave.....

wk 38

Another week gone. I am so tired. I wish Dave was here. He would know what to do. Or at least be able to help me figure it out. I love him so much. Sometimes I just don't know if I can do this. When I first got here, I found a wounded bird. There was nothing I could do for the poor thing except give it water. It hopped into my lap and drank. I sat very still in the early morning desert air. Listening to the sprinklers. For close to two hours I sat still while the dying creature sat on my crossed legs. Then just as suddenly as I had found her on my porch she stopped moving. I gathered her in my hands, and placed her inside a small box. When the girls woke up, we went on a walk and buried her. We placed a lot of large-ish rocks on top. The three of us sat for a long time an just looked at the mountains around us. And as sad as it was that the poor creature had died. I was happy that she had chosen me. That she had not died alone..... To show me sometimes it is necessary for us all to be reminded that everything has a spirit. Have you had a wounded bird moment? I hope you do.....

I Love You Dave.

blah....

Has anyone else ever just felt ugly? Cus I sure do....

Alright.....prepare to laugh....

My story begins with 3 things:
1. Kadi...slightly sleepy...very hungry.
2. One cup of jello pudding....chocolate and vanilla swirl.
3. My 5 lb hammer I use to hang up pictures...back of the kitchen counter.

I got up this morning. It was like any other morning. The girls were still asleep so I decided to take a shower. When ten minutes into my shower I hear a loud *POP* and lots of Kadi squeals. I jump out of the shower throw a towel around me.
Still dripping wet I arrive in the kitchen to the sight of my one year old covered in pudding. Then it hits me. It's on the ceiling, the floor, and...yes you guessed it the hammer.
With in the ten minutes I was in the shower Kadi had climbed from her cirb. Pushed her sisters step stool into the kitchen to the refrigorator, and removed the afore mentioned pudding cup. Finding no way to open it. She then pushed the stool over to the counter to find a tool, and spotted the hammer. The rest is well...I will let you use your imagination.
And someone told me yesterday she was to young to understand what I was telling her. Yeah.....right....

ewwwwwwwww

WK 39

Man I need a break. The girls are driving me nuts. And since I don't get alone time with Dave at night the stress has no where to go. The house is clean at least right? Oh well have fun all.
I miss Dave.

Wishing The Time Would Go By Faster!!!!

*sigh* I wish time would go faster. The girls are driving me nuts! Anna has developed an attitude problem and I don't know where it came from. And now Kadi is being a brat. She is taking her diaper off every 5 secounds. I have to start potty training her early. Which is good and bad. If she would co-operate it would be great. But, she's not. So oh well I will deal.
Dave is doing okay. I miss him SOOOO much. *sigh*
Well have fun all!

Yeah!!! A Friend.. who's here!!!

Hey people's. I am at a friends house right now. Cleaned the house yesterday. Well, most of it. I still need to finish up the bedroom. I never realized how many stuffed animals I own. Dave is back in the sandy place now. He is doing ok. As well as can be expected at least. Have fun every one!!! Gotta go!

WK 40

Sorry been slacking off lately. Dave is leaving to go back tomorrow. I hope I can deal. I have a dr Appointment today. We will see how that goes. Well I gotta go get ready. I love you guys. Have fun!!!

WK 42

Sorry been gone. Day before yesterday I went to my new friends Dea's, house. When we got back here. A strange car was in the drive way. A screen from the front window laying on the ground. Walking slowly up to the house I see a small bear on the front bench. I run the rest of the way up tot he door. There inside sleeping on my bed is.... DAVE!!!
I get a visit. I will post pictures soon. I promise. Because, he does have to go back in around two weeks. I got my hair fixed so that it wont be as hot when I start growin the top out. But, right now it's uber short. Love you guys!! Have fun!!!

*Smack! *Focus!

All who know me personally, know what I am talking about. My mind refuses to stick to one thing right now. I starting unpacking my paints this morning. *WAAHH!* I don't have any canvas. I need to either go get some, or make some. But, I need to FINISH unpacking first. GRRRR!! But, wanna know what is really funny, Heidi, Lilly, I STILL have that same setero from 7th grade. You know one of the early cd players. And it still works really well. :P Just thought that was neat.
Ack I did it again... Oh yeah yarn...I have LOTS of pretty yarn to play with. ACK!!!
Okay going to the doctors next week... I believe my ADD is back full force.
Girls wave hi!!!

wk 43

Hello people..... I feel like I am buried in boxes right now. I need to go for a walk in few, just to keep from going nuts. Been steady unpacking. The girls are happy. They have a buttload of toys now. And their little tv. So they think it's all good. My new friend gave me YARN!!! Bright, bright yarn. Green, yellow, purple, orange, and a realy cool mixed one. She said it was just laying around. Yippie! Well off to the shower so I will be presentable to the public!! Have fun!!

I miss Dave sooooooo much.....

Yippie!

So far so good today. Looking forward to the movers getting here with our first shipment. Sometime today. Kadi was a butt and threw ALL the toys on to the floor of the playroom. Anna at least is being good...so far. I will have some more stuff for them to play with shortly though. Well have fun!

A little homesickness for ya...

Sweet tea anyone?

Holy cow..

Man I forgot how much dialup blows. *stretch* Waking up early again. Falling back into the habit of being a mommy. Only here I get once a month of free daycare. So maybe I won't go insane. I still need to see a counselors though. I hope everyone is doing well. The baby blanket I was working on is now a full blown toddler blankie. LoL. I made it WAY to big. Watching the kids eat breakfast. Mm...Eggs and cheese. Well I gotta go take a shower. Have fun all!

Hello....

Hello everyone. Been busy lately. Right now I am wifi hopping, hope the connection holds. I finally have my little house. That is so much bigger than our apartment in Germany. I have a front and a back yard. That are just mine! Yippie! Well I am gonna leave you with a hug. Have fun all! I will be here, just missing Dave.

wk 44

Well I am Wifi hopping right now. So pictures will be coming soon. I like my new house. And post is pretty cool. At least I am away from all the drama. Yippie. Well I am alive and okay. Have fun!! I miss Dave.

Oops forgot! WK 45

Okay tomorrow I am loading the uhaul so I probably won't be able to post. And since I am gonna have to wait on the ohine company for my internet. It maybe about a week. So no worries. I am doing ok just a little frazzled. And I can't wait to get outta here. Have fun all!!! Love yas! And missing Dave......

Hello from inside the land of boxes....

You never realize how much stuff you have, until you have to pack it all. I started last week and I am still not done. Nuts! My brain hurts...I don't know how to pack the little Ihave left. We go an get the trailer and truck tomorrow. I hope we get everything done in time. *sigh* well have fun all!!!

Okay....

Discovered that my in law's are no longer allowed to take pictures at family gatherings...... only a few came out.

And that would be it!! Lol arent they sweet in their matching dresses!!

Happy Holiday!!!

Hope everyone had a great day. Mine was okay. And the girls had a wonderfull time. Hunting eggs, and eating waaaaay to much candy. I actaully dressed up today. In a skirt! Will find pictures sooner or later. Will post the pictures of the girls later tonight. Had devilled eggs and made lots of potato salad. I need to pack some more of my room up. I need to get it all done by friday. Which sounds like plenty of time but, I know better. Well have fun!!!!

Some Eggs!!!!

Ohmygosh!!!!!!

Alright I said housing would open up in 6 weeks, right? Okay..... I pick up my keys on the 24th!!! AHHHH!!! Holy crap. *Breath-breath* Dave MIGHT be able to come home and help me move. But, I am not gonna put to much hope into that. At least now I will be on base an near a more supportive group of people. Which is so awesome. I can't wait to meet my new FRG. They sound like so much fun. And I have been told they have a good counseling facility. Which is also good. I have until August to get my FCC classes started I believe but I might be able to slide under the wire for the May class. But, I think August would be better. I can get the house ready and everything set before I even start the classes. Well I am much happier today. Thankfully the weather man was wrong. Have fun everybody!!!

Yeah.....

I know everyone here in this portion of soggy CA was happy about yesterday. And this morning is promising more sun. I know it isn't gonna last. Is it wrong for me to hope so hard that it does? Having some problem with everything lately. I got two more small boxes packed. I wished everything was a little more clear cut with the military. You would think it would be right? Nope. You'll get housing...some time in the next 6 weeks...we think. Oh well. At least when I get there I can stop worrying about every one elses bills. Coloring eggs and making potato salad today. Sounds ambitious doesn't it. Lol. Have fun all! I am going to try today.

Missing my soilder.

Ok....

Alright... Now I have proof. I am going nuts. Look what I made.. In an hour...

WK 46

I reeeaaallly wish it would stop raining. I really wish housing on Fort Irwin would open up soon. And that Dave could come home now. I need some sleep. Can't seem too. And I am not eating very well again. Can't even make myself do it. *sigh* oh well. Waving from the soggy land of CA. Have lots of fun...extra for me!!!

Hello to all....

And here world is Mothra Jr!!!!

Here comes the rain.....Again....

Morning everyone. I am afraid CA is gonna float off the edge of the USA soon. It has not stopped raining for more than an hour for close to 3 months now. We have had more than enough rain for a year. I think I am fully prepared for the desert now. The lack of water will be a welcome change. And the rain isn't doing well for the depression problem I am having either. I miss Dave so much. Well, I am gonna to pack some more in a little and finish off Heidi Mothra Jr. Then hopefully the baby blanket I have been working on for a month. AH.... But got lots of baby butterflies done. Yippie! Have fun all!!

I just now realized....

that I may be a little over controlling. Or at least have a tendency to over prepare. I have already started packing and prepping the few things we have here for the move we will be making in like 5 to 6 weeks. But, it could be before that. But, we have barely over one room full of things. I am sure it will all fit inside a small rental truck. And I have to get a medium one, if my Uncle or mother in law take me. Since they only allow trailers for cars on the medium ones or larger. I started this morning slowly packing a box. And just now realized that I could pack everything in an hour if I wanted. But, here I am packing probably over a month early. Oh well, am I weird? Have fun!!

morning...

Now I am working on the fact that I need a washer and dryer at Fort Irwin. And after that I would like to get an elliptical. But, all that requires money which is something I don't have. *sigh* Anybody got any ideas?

Ok.. Ok.. Ok..

So maybe I am a little obsessed. But, it's ok, he's my husband. It's a good thing... Right?

my Dave...

Ok..It's official...This sucks...

Okay I had to give my notice today. At the best job I have ever had. And I was then fired....20 minutes later. Because, I am unreliable. Dave came up with a solution to my bubblering problem. I am going to apply to be an FCC provider at Fort Irwin. You know a home day care. I love it. Yeah!!! BLOCKS, BLOCKS, BLOCKS!!! But, now I have to figure out what to do with my 6 weeks. Since I still don't know how my gym membership is going to work now that I am no longer employed there. And I certainly can't afford the joining fee again. *sigh* okays people. Time to save up for an elliptical. Yippie. Dave will e coming home for a little while... in 6 weeks. And everyone here is mad at me. Because I am abandoning mom, but no one is mad at my father in law. Hmmmm... What is wrong with these people!! I miss Dave. Not a lot of yarning going on. Haven't been able to focus very well unless surrounded by kids lately. And Anna wants to play alone. And Kadi has a hella cold. Nuts... Well YOU have fun for me!!


Here's some sexy for ya!!

...manic...Yeah I think that's what they call it...........

Felt better for like two hours....
Feel like crap again. I am talking to Dave now though. Yippie! Got on the housing list so will be in a stable situation soon. Which is good. Dave will only be able to come home for like two weeks though. *sigh* I miss him so much. *cries*

Soon will be able to fix some of the problems. I hope. Have fun all.

ooohhh maaannnn....

don't know if his command is gonna realize him to come and help me. I can't keep my food down. Stress seems to be a great diet pill. At least I have my job still. I betcha I am the only person who works in a day care that can say she is only sane at work. That seems to be the only time I feel human anymore. The girls are making me focus. SO I feed, bathe and hug em. But, I can't seem to get everything in my head straight. Not doing good. Anyone that knows me.... Well you know how bad I get before I say anything. Guess what... HELP!!!!

pics

DAVE!!!

WK 47

Yeah in the crush for got to post the week. Having another panic attack like right now. Fifth one since yesterday....

Ok it's official...

Okay now I have officially lost it. I have had a nervous breakdown. Can't do this anymore alone. Everyone send some hope my way. I seem to have misplaced mine. I just want to know why I have to call the red cross...Not my husbands unit to get help.....
I also very unfortunately have missed two days at my new job. Which was the only thing keeping me sane. After Anna's shots Monday she started puking and we had to come home. And yesterday I had my breakdown in the morning(and this thing is on going by the way) then had to go see a DR in the pm. Which means I was stuck across town at the time I needed to be at work. I would not blame them if they fired me. Heck, I would fire me. But, hopefully the red cross will agree to send Dave home. Cus, I just can't handle the stress of him being gone, the kids, and now the crap with his parents...Ok I could keep going but I feel I have complained enough for one day. Thanks for listening. And I hope all of you can have enough fun for me too.....

Nope not today....

I feel like curling up into a little ball. I don't really want to face today. I was doing really well. But, not today. All I can see is this messy room, and an empty bed. All I can smell is Dave. Even when I bury my face in my pillow. I have been hearing him today. I think I am going crazy again. This can't be regular lonely. Otherwise everyone would be walking around talking to themselves.... Out loud. Oh well I guess I just have to deal.

morning..Rain

Can you believe it is STILL raining? I can't thinking about visiting mom just to get away from the rain. Gotta take Anna to the doctor today. Yeah, shot day. Whoopee.... Note the sarcasm. Then I got to work tonight. But, that's ok I like work. And it is only 3 hours. I had to get Kadi a crib Saturday. She was escaping from her playpen. So now I am broke like right after payday. *sigh* oh well no biggie. Well I gotta go get ready for the day.. Have fun!!